Ariel Emadi - Discontents

“A View of The World From 9th Avenue” Trying to get...

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:25:00 -0400

“A View of The World From 9th Avenue”

Trying to get this New Yorker cover in poster size

If America could vote-in a World Series Champion (via ESPN...

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:30:00 -0400

If America could vote-in a World Series Champion

(via ESPN SportsNation)

I wrote a little something on the train home today. I hope you...

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 19:28:24 -0400

I wrote a little something on the train home today. I hope you don’t hate it!

My back hurts. My feet hurt. I’m feeling the onset of a tension headache. 10 hours of walking up and down a 12 story building will do that.

It’s freezing. My ears feel of ice. So cold that nausea is setting in. Upset with myself that I didn’t bring a jacket. An early winter will do that.

Some dude just carelessly sneezed on me. Felt the wet breeze on my arm. Of course my first thought—I have the pig flu now. Inconsiderate sick people will do that.

Still, as I make the frenzied 5 o’clock dash down 8th avenue to Penn Station, I can’t help but smile—as this kid from the suburbs of Seattle is a long way from home. I feel blessed that my journey through life has brought me here. The sort of thing I would daydream about in 6th period math class years ago. A time when—ahhh FUCK! Yup, I just stepped in horse shit.

New York City will do that.

BONUS: I just noticed this when I uploaded the picture, but check out this guy’s (possibly homemade) Obama-loving leather jacket! Looks more like Paul Mooney to me.

Also, notice the crosswalk sign. That’s how we do in the city!

The Machine that Traveled Back in Time to Stop Itself

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 19:05:40 -0400

The Machine that Traveled Back in Time to Stop Itself:

thehypocrite:

As if the black hole creating machine below the French/Swiss border needed anything else to make it the most fascinating thing ever: enter time travel.

A pair of scientists have actually proposed a hypothesis that nature is stopping the machine—or rather that the discoveries the machine will produce are so terrible and damaging to nature that they are coming back in time to stop themselves from ever being found. Seriously.

My mind? Blown. Time travel makes me hard.

seinfeld: thedailywhat: Supercut of the Day: Someone with a...

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 19:02:57 -0400

seinfeld:

thedailywhat:

Supercut of the Day: Someone with a lot of time on their hands — say the kind of time one might have if one were blacklisted for pausing their stand-up routine to holler the N-word a dozen times at an audience member — pieced together every single Kramer entrance ever, in chronological order.

[via.]

nationalfootballleague: If you needed any clues as to how the...

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 19:29:21 -0400

nationalfootballleague:

If you needed any clues as to how the Seattle Seahawks could dominate the Jacksonville Jaguars 41-0, just take a look at Seahawks fullback Owen Schmitt’s pre-game introduction. Oh and it isn’t the first time he’s gone head-to-helmet with himself either. He got enough practice in college as well. Wonder if he can make this happen the rest of the season.

This one just gets better and better as it goes along. “At...

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 18:03:17 -0400

This one just gets better and better as it goes along. “At a casino playing chinese poker with Clyde Drexler and the Phoenix Suns gorilla.”

Video

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 17:44:54 -0400

On the Ground!

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 17:42:57 -0400

On the Ground!

funnyordie: thedailywhat: A Note on Fucking: So Jenny Slate...

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 07:13:08 -0400

funnyordie:

thedailywhat:

A Note on Fucking:

So Jenny Slate said the word “fucking” in her very first SNL appearance last night. To quote the great Stephen Dorff: “So fucking what?”

Here are the facts:

The minced oath “frickin” was being tossed around so frequently during the infamous skit that the cast members might as well have been saying “fuckin,” and certainly could not be faulted for slipping up.

The skit aired at 12:40AM. Any “impressionable kid” still awake to watch it is most likely the progeny of parents who couldn’t care less if he/she hears swear words on TV.

Canada, where the word “fuck” is permitted on air between the hours of 9PM and 6AM, is just one of the many countries presently laughing their free-speechin’ head off at this total non-issue.

The single, unintentional utterance of the holiest of curses, in between a minefield of euphemisms, follows a monologue with shopped porn, a skit with a buck-naked Transformer, and the noun adjunct “penis slot.” C’MON!

And all this without even getting to the heart of this silliness: IT’S A GODDAMN WORD! Is Jenny Slate’s continued employment really in question over four fleeting letters? Unconscionable.

Maybe instead of vilifying a comedian for entertaining us we should use this opportunity to rid ourselves once and for all of this misguided, goodthink-enforcing policy that serves no purpose but to instill in us a debilitating fear of being who we are — flaws, fucks, and all.

[screencap via.]

We say fuck all the time. Just saying.

Word.

seinfeld: joehoe: Behind The Scenes: Curb Your...

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 10:36:48 -0400

seinfeld:

joehoe:

Behind The Scenes: Curb Your Enthusiasm/Seinfeld Reunion

A guy sings into a wrench, an elephant stands on two legs, and...

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 22:26:20 -0400

A guy sings into a wrench, an elephant stands on two legs, and by the end, world peace is achieved.

4 minutes well spent.

Matthew Fox in some hilariously bad student film,...

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 07:31:54 -0400

Matthew Fox in some hilariously bad student film, pre-Lost.

More: 11 Early Roles the Cast of Lost Wishes We’d All Forget

funnyordie: Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Charlize...

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 10:48:51 -0400

funnyordie:

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Charlize Theron

I watched Jackie Brown again

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 19:28:00 -0400

If you ever decide you want to watch a really good film and at the same time get two really good R&B songs stuck in your head for days, I recommend Jackie Brown.

Across 110th Street - Bobby Womack

Didn’t I (Blow Your Mind This Time) - The Delfonics

thedailywhat: Movie Trailer of the Day: Beavis and Butthead...

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:30:19 -0400

thedailywhat:

Movie Trailer of the Day: Beavis and Butthead shill for their creator Mike Judge’s latest feature film, Extract (in theaters September 4).

Hehehe… Bateman.

[via.]

thedailywhat: The latest issue Entertainment Weekly features...

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 15:52:08 -0400

thedailywhat:

The latest issue Entertainment Weekly features the first group shot of the reunited Seinfeld cast (spoilers!), brought back together by Larry David for a five-episode story arc on the new season of HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm, which involves the gang of four preparing a Seinfeld reunion show.

[via.]

Between this and the start of the NFL season, my least favorite month as a kid has now become the most anticipated. September!

Ichiro my coworker

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 06:17:08 -0400

peterlee:

So the other day my coworker Ichiro comes up to me at work and tells me about his sex life. This is how it went and bare with me here.

Aug. 22

Ichiro: Yo did I tell you what happen last night?

Peter: Ummmm No.

Ichiro: I slept with my brother.

Peter: haha shut the hell up you fag!

Ichiro: Well I didn’t really sleep with him but he touch my penis.

Peter: Shut the hell up! What you mean he touch your penis?

Ichiro: Well we got drunk… and we were playing a game flipping a coin and whoever calls it right the other person has to take a piece of clothing off.

Peter: Yall are fagggggs! Only fags play games like that!

Ichiro: hahahahahahhaaa! So eventually we both got butt-naked and he started to draw on me ( shows me I love penis on his chest)

Peter: Dude even if you were gay… wtf man your own brother??? I told you that you were gay before man.

Ichiro: hahahaha no I love women the worst that can possibly happen is maybe bi but def not gay. But I did took a quiz on Facebook on how gay are you and got 100% gay. Hahahahha but Im not I love women.

Peter: Man your gay cant believe this… your own brother… man are you lying?

Part 2 will be posted tomorrow. Im tire and need sleep. Do you still think he’s gay people?

I don’t know where to begin with this. But I can’t wait for part 2.

FUCK OFF FIGHT!! (via FunnyOrDie)

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 14:21:12 -0400

FUCK OFF FIGHT!!

(via FunnyOrDie)

Twitter: Shit My Dad Says

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 20:25:28 -0400

Twitter: Shit My Dad Says:

funnyordie:

gregrutter:

“I’m 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says”

The internet is hilarious. Add this to the list of the reason why…

I can’t get enough